You have to put in a lot of effort with little return. Unfortunately, black women are the least responded to group in online dating, and you’ll have to send out approximately 1.5 times as many messages as anyone else in order to get a response. I’m not going to lie, this can be discouraging.
White men like white women. White people are the majority in the United States and Europe. This means that most of the people you meet online will be white, and they enjoy dating other white people, especially as they get old enough to start thinking about a family.
Whiteness is familiar to them. This means that some people will immediately pass your profile by because you look too…different.
So How Can You Make Online Dating A Much Better Experience?
As with anything, there are things you can do to make it a much better experience.
First, don’t take it personally. I know, it’s hard to look at someone’s profile, see “no black girls” and not take it personally – but they’re not worth it. It takes time and energy to get upset, and none of these racists are worth it. Don’t stop to educate every racist.
Read someone’s profile first. I know, you see a guy and he looks fineeee, and you want to slide into his inbox. But for your sake, read his profile, whether that’s his short Tinder bio or an eight-page OKCupid manifesto. Keep an eye out for any red flags. And don’t assume that just because a guy is black that he will love black women. Sadly, some black men don’t.
Don’t be discouraged. You’re going to send out a lot of messages and not get anything back. That’s frustrating. But don’t give up. You’re also going to get more messages than you know what to do with, and eventually you’ll find the right person.
Blame your bio. Sometimes, let’s be honest, if your inbox is dry, it might not be because you’re black. It might because you’re unapproachable, or your bio is boring (or nonexistent) (or too long). It might be becaues your pictures are unflattering. It might be because you mention your ex-boyfriend six times in one paragraph. Ask your friend to glance over your profile; small changes can go a long way.
Don’t settle. If a guy doesn’t excite you, don’t talk to him just because other men might not be reaching out. And do not feel obligated to talk to any man just because you feel flattered that he’s talking to you. Know your worth.
Where Else Can You Find Good Men?
Obviously, online dating isn’t the only way to find handsome, eligible men. If there are no men in your immediate circle, put yourself out there! Start attending the singles group at your church. Join a group like MeetUp to find people with interests similar to yours. Sign up for a cooking class. Here are 6 great ways to meet single, professional black men.
But if you’d prefer to keep it digital, then don’t limit yourself to generic dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid. BlackPeopleMeet is great for black women, because it’s a site for people of color who want to connect with other people of color. Got Caribbean roots? Check out Caribbean Cupid. ChristianMingle will help you find a godly man. SoulSwipe is Tinder for black people. MELD is just for black professionals.
Online Dating Fails Black Women Some Say, Truth Or Myth?
Dating as a black woman isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it the moment you meet the right person. So don’t give up! Check out these 6 dating sites made especially for black women and start messaging!